Ron Famer's 'Self Esteem' CD set

Self Reliance

As we said earlier, the supreme self-confidence that we displayed as a child when we learned to walk and speak began to be eroded as we progressed from the toddler to the school-age child. There are many contributing factors to this infusion of self-doubt. One that is very common is the sabotaging of the child’s innate sense of self-reliance by over-protective parents. Fears for their safety, impatience and over-indulgence inhibit the bird child’s natural urge to experiment until the skill is mastered.

The bird that is balancing on a branch high up in a tree during a gale does so without fear, with full confidence. And why? Because it knows how to use its two wings to fly away if the branch should break. Self-confidence will arrive when we develop our wings of self-reliance in as many areas of life as we can.

Self-reliance can be sought after not only in the practical activities of everyday life but also in social situations as well. Being comfortable with solitude, talking to strangers, daring to disagree, being true to one’s self, each one of these, once enacted, brings stature and resoluteness to one’s inner being. An excellent read on this topic is the essay by Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803– 1882) titled Self Reliance. To give you a small sample:

It is easy in the world
To live after the world’s opinion;
It is easy in solitude
To live after our own;
But the great man is he
Who in the midst of the crowd
Keeps with perfect sweetness
The independence of solitude.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Each of us has within us an inner voice, sometimes referred to as intuition or perhaps conscience, which prompts and guides us to be truly ourselves. Each time we turn away from its illuminated path, we experience a weakening of our self-trust. In contrast, when we pay no heed to the inner and outer voices, which would have us deny originality, there grows within us a greater awareness of our latent beauty and magnificence. There is a wonderful adage, which says: ‘When you have a good thought, act on it immediately’. By so doing we increase our allegiance to the inner King and reduce our ties to the alien forces of timidity and conformity.